Communication Technique from Catfish? A Different Way to Communicate with Your Spouse

I was watching an episode of the MTV show Catfish the other day and came across a very relatable situation to first responder and military families.

The husband and wife were both former military and were both deployed into combat. They both saw some horrible things and even lost a member of their team in combat. The wife also had some childhood trauma she was processing through.

The couple started to internalize their feelings and they both turned inward instead of leaning on one another. They didn’t know how to process their own PTSD and mental health issues they were both dealing with. Their communication shut down and they didn’t know how to communicate with one another, causing a strain in their relationship.

The husband, created a fake profile and catfishes his own wife, to see if she would cheat on him because he didn’t know what was going on with her. Now, I do not recommend doing this at all. But, it brings up an different way of communication.

The wife was able to open up to this person without judgement and the husband was able to process what his wife was saying without having to give a response immediately.

When they both found out who each other was speaking to, they came together and their relationship became stronger. They didn’t know how to effectively open up to one another and through this experience of texting each other (unknowingly) allowed them to communicate effectively with each other in a way that worked for them.

Texting, writing letters, etc is a great form of communication, especially for those bigger feelings that may be difficult to communicate directly to your spouse. Leaving a text or letter to your spouse with a lot of context in it, allows that other person to read through everything, process and digest each portion of the situation, and then properly respond to it. It keeps the pressure off the one receiving the information and doesn’t force them to respond immediately as they may not be able to respond appropriately if in a verbal dialogue as emotions may get in the way.

I personally use this form of communication with my police officer in certain situations and it allows us to take time to process what the other is saying and respond to one another in an appropriate manner.

If you and your law enforcement spouse are struggle to communicate about a specific topic or situation, I encourage you to give the writing technique a try and see if it works for you.

I would love to hear from you if this is a technique that you currently use or how it went trying it out.