3 Things Every Police Wife Should Know in the First Year

The first year of being a police wife, of even the first year of your partner being on the job is the hardest year. You are adjusting to the strange schedules, the weird sleeping patterns, going through Field Training with them, and getting acquainted with your new life as a first responder's partner. Here are three things every police wife, girlfriend, or fiancé should know for the first year.

1. The Schedule is King. You will build your life around his shift work, not the other way around. Your plans will revolve around his work schedule. Even your daily routines and schedules will be swayed by the hours he is working. But, don't let his work schedule dictate what you can and can not go to by yourself. Even if he does have to work over an event, stand strongly and confidently, and go to those events and celebrations with out him. Don't let his schedule keep you from living your life as well.

2. Missed Events are Normal. Holidays, birthday parties, anniversaries will not always be celebrated on the exact day and will sometimes be spent away from your police officer. Unfortunately, your police officer has an extremely important job and has to work the days and hours no one wants to, which means he won't be able to attend every event that is scheduled. But, the good news is that you can plan your own celebrations around his schedule if possible so he can be in attendance. I've been married for 3 years while writing this post and we have only celebrated our anniversary on the actual date once. But, we pick a different day to celebrate and we still have a blast together. It really isn't about the actual day, it is about how you celebrate and who you celebrate with that is the important thing. As the years go on, this part of the job becomes easier and easier. It just becomes apart of the life style.

3. You are Stronger than you Think! Solo parenting, running a household, raising kids, is a hard job, but you will adapt to the lifestyle faster than you realize. I like to tell myself that every part of life is a phase. I am in the 2 under 2.5 years and a school ager right now and it is a very hard stage. With sleepless nights, cramming in naps, and figuring out routines that seem to change every two weeks, its all just a phase right now. Things will get better. The schedules may be horrible and not work out for the best for your family at the moment, but it is only a phase. It will change and it will get better. Try to always find the positive in your current situation. Go easy on yourself and give yourself some grace. You are so much stronger than you think you are and I am here to tell you that you are doing an amazing job!

I hope these three things help the new police wives out there and help to ease your mind about your new role in your life.